STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
