True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
