Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
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According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
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STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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