I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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