I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize