At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
