Do you still have your period?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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