So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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