Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
