I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
