so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize