This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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