Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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