We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
