I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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