smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i would punch a child for taco bell
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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