I wish I could punch you in the face.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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