I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize