I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
