but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
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i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
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I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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