well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
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I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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