Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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