I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
