we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
