I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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