Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
