is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
