I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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