you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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