make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
