when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
