You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
