The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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