It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
