I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
