were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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