i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
