I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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