All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm really busy with my period
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