I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
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I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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