are you still at the devil's house?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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