I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
