in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
