im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
