Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
