So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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