going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
