Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
