you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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