Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
