I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
