every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You took a bar mat shot.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i now understand why vodka
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have tasted many bathrooms
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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