some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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