How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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