please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sober January is a disaster.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you never un-have a 4some
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
