well you can't waste a boner
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
