Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So apparently I’m into choking now
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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