I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
