On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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