I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
